Love is a universal language

My mum was visiting us after five years and I was dreading her arrival because she does not speak English very well. Last time she visited my kids were too young (one was a new born) to have any real conversations. But I can’t expect a 5 and a 9 year old to not want to tell stories to their Grandma and chat with her constantly. 

I was also feeling a little ashamed of myself for not teaching my kids their native language and was dreading my mum’s reaction when she found out that I have forsaken my “roots”. Truth is, its hard work making your kids bilingual. I have immense respect for my friends here who have achieved this with their kids. I tried but I couldn’t. When you have young kids your hands are full. And your brain comes up with energy saving options. For my husband and me it just seemed easy to talk to the kids in English especially after they started school and we didn’t realize when it became a norm. 

Awkward silences

There were awkward silences at first when my mum arrived. Then came the questioning glances at me after anything they uttered, ”Does she understand what I just said?” or “what did she mean?” or “can you please translate?” I played this game for a few days but then left both parties to their own devices. 

Building bridges

To my pleasant surprise, cracks started appearing in the wall between them. A hug here and a kiss there, a loving smile and a tickle, started happening regardless of the barrier between them. My mum loves gardening and so does my son. In fact, his love for growing plants often used to remind me of my mum because he certainly didn’t get that from his dad or me. We bought some plants from a nursery and thus began their backyard bonding sessions. Passing the shovel, filling up the watering can, plucking the weeds out, all of this didn’t require much talking. Just silent motions and a shared interest. My mum taught my kids how to use everyday objects such as old teacups as pots and they were delighted!

Night time ritual

Then there was the night time ritual. I asked my kids if they would like to be tucked into bed by Nano. They reluctantly agreed. My mum is known to put babies and children to sleep in no time. But I was skeptic if she would have the same success rate with my kids, as they are not used to anyone but us. The first night laid my doubts to rest….I had a little peek and she was singing an Urdu lullaby to my daughter who seemed immensely calm and enjoying it. It was the same lullaby that my mum used to sing to me and it brought a gush of emotions. She sat there for a long time, much longer than my kids are used to and they felt the indulgence. Needless to say, they asked for her the next night and the night after that…. till the day of her departure arrived.

Goodbyes are hard

When we were saying goodbye to her at the airport, my kids were as sad as I was. It was incredible to see how quickly they got attached to her and the emotional connection they had formed transcended every language. They even put in the effort to make a card for her and wrote their message in Urdu (with a little help from me of course). I could see that no other gift in the world could have made my mum happier than receiving that handmade card. Love truly is the universal language. It warms up your heart and stirs your soul even without uttering a single word. The love between a grandparent and grandchild is the same in any language and it is so precious. We are planning a trip to Pakistan soon and I am glad to say that all of us are looking forward to it.